- The Power in Being Soft
Taking the time to learn how to be gentle and patient with ourselves cultivates a space for nurturing, healing, and recovery in our daily lives, which also reflects in our relationships with others.
“Gentleness and kindness are like two peas in a pod, they work together unanimously.”
To be kind with ourselves, we must also learn how to be soft and gentle with ourselves, as well as patient, open-minded, and forgiving, which all coincides.
If we approach ourselves with the idea that there is something that has to be changed, that isn’t good enough, then we will remain there, exactly how we perceive ourselves to be in that moment, through that perspective, like a rigid structure, an image of ourselves locked in time, because that is all that we will be able to be, all that we will be able to see, and all that we would make ourselves believe that we are…
There is no changing the unchangeable, unless the unchangeable mustn’t be changed…Seeing it as something that exists is holding onto the idea that it does. Loving and accepting it as it is is to realize that it was only love all along…
This is not to say that there are not things that we obviously want and intend to change, this is just to say that focusing on those things, through that lens, can harbor it as a limitation.
If there are things that we would like to see change, and to become transmuted into something new, then what does that change look like? What does that change feel like? Can we trust that this change is already coming, as long as we allow it to, and accept whatever is here now as it is?
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”– Lao Tzu
“However it is that we spend our days, we always end it with rest…”
To be soft is to be fluid, flexible, and free… Although being soft with others begins with being soft with ourselves, as they are one in the same, so long as we recognize this.
When we are rigid and hard, whether it be mentally, physically, or spiritually, it can only exist for so long before it returns back to softness. Softness is the source, but it needs tension in order to create. If there was no resistance, then there would be no-thing.
Although even then, the resistance is guided by a softness, guided by itself. Softness must inevitably resist itself in order to expand, in order to create, and even then, it is comfortable knowing that the resistance is only temporary, and will eventually return itself back to its natural order, back to its natural state. (The state of which it actually was all along…)
Even rigidity and hardness are actually no different than softness at its core… They are one in the same, only expressed differently. It is this multifaceted expression that allows softness to experience itself in duality. For a certain amount of time, softness can become hard and perceive and experience itself as another.
Although through time, many of us have unintentionally allowed ourselves to perceive this life experience as an “act” rather than an “experience“, forgetting our true origins. Thinking that we have to “be” and “live up to” these expectations and roles that don’t actually exist, only as we imagine them to be (which counts for a lot!).
This is an “act” when we deny ourselves, clinging onto the roles that we play out of familiarity and a fear of losing what is “known”, even if it’s losing our sense of identities that were embedded in the minds of others. This is an experience when we remember who we are, and recognize that even if there is no point, no purpose, and no “real other”, we have the ability to create anything that we choose.
We are all the Creators, and we can choose to believe that this bodily experience is an illusion, a façade, and a prison, or we can see that this human experience is a unique method of channeling our higher-selves, immersing oneself in a journey of deep exploration, and a blank canvass providing us with the ability to build and create beautiful art through time and space.
Infinity is not only “all that is“, but also “all that never was, all that still is not, and all that will never be”. Soaking in this concurrent concept of “all that is created was always here.” and “all that is here was never created and never was.”
Softness is a breeding ground for new things to emerge…
When we are soft, we can better foster nurturing, healing, and recovery. This where new things can grow. This cultivates a space within where anything is welcome to come through, without judgement and the need to control.
This is to realize then that anything that we would have been trying to control, would only be an effort to control ourselves, because we are the ones experiencing that emotion.
We can only be soft with another when we learn to be open and soft with ourselves, which is not always easy, but I believe is most definitely worth the challenge. Only then, when we have released all control, and all fear of losing who we thought we were, will we be able to be truly free, free from a version of ourselves that never actually existed…
United Being’s writing is not objective truth, but a fresh lens to consider perceiving the world through. There is no “right” or “wrong” way of interpreting this, and I encourage all of my readers to absorb the information that I provide here, and use it as a tool to be integrated into your own unique and individual perspective, as you continue to tread and honor your own path. All my love, and genuine best wishes to you all .❤️
- 3 Keys for Taking Grounded Action
Below, I expand upon three points, and elaborate on how we can use these consistently in taking real, grounded, action towards our goals.
Setting the foundation to create new cycles of thinking for our benefit…
What we’re doing here is changing the way that our minds process and react to certain situations; In other words, we are embedding a new pattern in our minds by doing this.
This process is basically creating a shortcut in our brains, bypassing any unnecessary thinking processes, and cutting straight to the main points of our constructed pathway.
This is like taking a 10 page essay and shortening it to 5 pages, by removing all of the unnecessary “fluff”, and keeping the main points of the paper.
This is creating a clear map of our goals in a language that our brains understand. Each point that we get clear on in this process will relay a message to our brains, constructing a clear pathway that allows us to take clear, immediate, and grounded action towards our goals.
1. “I am here.”
When we catch ourselves veering from the path that we’ve set, feeling overwhelmed, caught up in thoughts about the past, the future, and all of the “maybes“, the first step is always to realize this:
“I am here.”
To take any grounded action, we must first get the “grounded” part down. So before anything, the first step is to realize where we are.
Anything else was out of our control anyways, because it existed outside of this moment, and this moment is where we are.
So before jumping into anything else, the foundation is always set in the now, because this is where the grounded action is taken, regardless of the goal/endpoint.
So to begin: “I am here.”
Not there, and not then, but here.
2. “Where am I going?”
This is where the goal is set. Not the steps that come along the way, and not the contemplation/rationalization of everything that may or may not come as a byproduct of that goal, but the ultimate goal itself.
So once we realize where we are, we can then ask ourselves and get clear on:
“Where am I going?”
What is the point that I intend to get to? Not how am I going to get there, but where am I getting to? The ultimate end goal.
Getting clear on this allows the mind to construct a clear vision of our goal, and set it as the endpoint of where we are moving to. This gives our brain tunnel vision and laser focus when referencing our goal, because there is no doubt nor question regarding a destination.
“This is where I am I headed, and that is it. I do not know how I am getting there, but I do know that there is where I am getting to.“
3. “What am I going to do about it?”
So we have grounded ourselves in the present, realized where we are, and set a clear goal for where we are going, now what do we do? After getting clear on the first two steps, identifying the starting-point and the endpoint, we can then move on and ask ourselves:
“What am I going to do about it?”
Not “What am I going to do about it in the future?” but “What am I going to do about it now?”
This is where we do not give ourselves a choice. This is the step that ties it all together. This is the “action” part of the grounded action, and this is where we take the first step.
There is no questioning, only doing. This is identifying a step, no matter how small or how big, that will bring us towards that goal, that can be taken in this very moment, and doing it without question.
When this first step is taken, then so is the grounded action! Following this three step process can be done anywhere, anytime, and in any situation. This allows us to see what we can do now, here, in order to get there, and trusting that we will get there, while still being here, and doing what we can in the moment.
These are the steps that I apply for taking grounded action in my life, and this has been a powerful process! So all of my love and best wishes, I invested a great deal of time and energy into writing this post, and genuinely hope it helps! ❤
I also briefly expand upon this topic in the newest episode of my podcast, Interplay. Feel free to check it out and support below!
- The Power of Radical Trust
A Dance of “Give and Receive”
When we place our trust in the universe, this does not mean that we are relinquishing all of our free will. This life is a dance of give and receive, of putting out and letting in. This is not about giving all of our responsibility to the universe, and waiting for all of the answers to drop on our head as we wait in limbo. This is about setting clear and solid intentions, sending them out into the universe, and trusting that the universe is always conspiring in our favor, and will bring us exactly what we need at exactly the right time, based on the energy that we send out.
Now, whether we send this energy out unconsciously or with conscious awareness and intention is up to us…
Releasing the Outcome
If we trace whatever it is that we are working towards back to the original source, to the original intention, we will begin to realize that it is not the actual outcome of the thing, person, circumstance, or whatever it may be that is hard to “let go” of; It is the thought of it.
There is always something that triggers us to think about the outcome of what we are working towards. Whether it be checking our bank account, seeing something that reminds us of what we desire, contemplating how little time we have, whatever it may be.
When we keep our focus on the outcomes that are outside of our control, we are then transferring the “I want” energy to an “I lack” energy, pushing our goals further and further away from where we actually are, which is all there ever is.
When we place and maintain our attention on our present situation, shifting our perspective to see that where we actually are is completely fine, we can then set conscious intentions and take grounded actions that matter towards our goals, leaving the rest in the hands of the Universe, with radical and unwavering trust, whom will always work with us to achieve our goals in the most unique and mysterious of ways.
For some, there is a reactive and defensive belief that follows this approach, which consists of, “But if I stop thinking about it, even for a second, then I will lose sight of it, and it will never come.” This notion is false though, and it is once again the work of our little trickster friend, the EGO.
“No ego, once again, that is a fearful reaction…”
If the ego happens to have convinced us that the constant thinking and attachment is required in order for us to achieve our goals, this is a belief that is rooted in fear, a seed that was planted from thoughts about the future and the past, which do not exist in the present.
The ego does not do this to attack us, it is doing it because it believes that it will protect us, not realizing that it is the very thing that is doing us harm. The mere awareness of this, and of the fearful state in and of itself, will dissolve the illusion that the present is something that we must run from in order to survive. That is what the ego does, it’s main goal is to survive, regardless of whether it limits us or not, because it is running off of its own programming, not common sense.
All my love and best wishes. ❤
- INTERPLAY, EPISODE 1, OUT NOW: Exploring the Conscious, Subconscious, & Unconscious Facets of Mind
I’m excited to announce that Episode 1 of the New Podcast Series, Interplay, Made With the Intent to Expand the Minds of Each and Every Listener, is Out Now!
The reason that I crafted Interplay is to help anyone understand how we can use the power of our minds to their fullest potential, understanding how the unconscious, conscious, and subconscious makes up the basic structure of our mind, how these aspects of mind work with each other, and how we can use this interconnection and interplay to our advantage in processing information and programming the underlying functionalities of our mind.
Even though it is only episode 1, there was still a great deal of energy and heart that was incorporated into the makings of this content, and I plan to keep it this way through the entire series. This series is literally created one word at a time, with each word having a strategic placement in order to convey a grand meaning of why I created the show in the first place!
Available to Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and Amazon Music!
The episode itself is a mere 10 minutes long, and still has the potential to shift one’s perspective and open many new doors of thought. Welcome to the kick off of the Interplay series, and I appreciate all of your support, as always!https://interplay.castos.com/feed
Feel free to follow me and subscribe here, on Spotify!
- The Healing is Already Done.
“It’s a part of the healing process…” I told myself.
With all the hurt I felt, my automatic response was to tell myself, “It will heal, it’s just a process.”
On this path, there was always something else to heal.
Which is not entirely false, although through this process, I found most of my energy being drawn towards the hurt rather than the healing itself.
“Healing” then became the mask that was worn by the “hurt“.
“This is healing.” became an excuse to focus on the hurt, which was painful, yet comforting in it’s familiarity.
“Yes this will heal, and look at what already has.“
While I was sitting in meditation one day, this dropped on my head.
“I am healing… I am healing… I am healing…”
“…wait… look at how much healing I have already done…”
An immediate shift in perspective.
Yes, I am healing, and I am also healed.
“I acknowledge this process, and I appreciate where I am now.“
Acknowledging this process, and allowing it to run it’s course, does not require constantly checking in on it.
It is the constant checking in on it that keeps it active. (The Quantum Zeno effect.)
This happens naturally, on it’s own time.
Rather than focusing on what was being healed, and telling myself, “This is healing,” I began to focus on, and appreciate, how much healing I had already done, as this healing process was still going to occur whether I checked in on it or not.
There will always be room for reflection, this is not meant to deny the hurt.
Rather, this encourages one to experience it fully, to accept it, and to come to terms with it.
When we avoid it, we trap ourselves in it, for the act of trying to escape from something enhances the illusion that there is something to escape from.
When we deny it, we shove it into our unconscious, our shadow, and it shall subtly reveal itself in other areas of our lives.
When we allow ourselves to rest in the center of our hurt, simply being, without fear, without fighting, and place our attention on the peace that resides within us, as a result of what has already healed, the peace that was once the same kind of hurt, we are choosing to see the glass as half full, which then attracts more positive experiences into our lives.
At the end of the day, we choose the lens through which we perceive all of our human experiences, we choose what we attract into our lives by choosing what we allow into our lives, and we decide the direction we go in on this journey, which is also the destination in and of itself. ❤