“It’s a part of the healing process…” I told myself.
With all the hurt I felt, my automatic response was to tell myself, “It will heal, it’s just a process.”
On this path, there was always something else to heal.
Which is not entirely false, although through this process, I found most of my energy being drawn towards the hurt rather than the healing itself.
“Healing” then became the mask that was worn by the “hurt“.
“This is healing.” became an excuse to focus on the hurt, which was painful, yet comforting in it’s familiarity.
“Yes this will heal, and look at what already has.“
While I was sitting in meditation one day, this dropped on my head.
“I am healing… I am healing… I am healing…”
“…wait… look at how much healing I have already done…”
An immediate shift in perspective.
Yes, I am healing, and I am also healed.
“I acknowledge this process, and I appreciate where I am now.“
Acknowledging this process, and allowing it to run it’s course, does not require constantly checking in on it.
It is the constant checking in on it that keeps it active. (TheQuantum Zeno effect.)
This happens naturally, on it’s own time.
Rather than focusing on what was being healed, and telling myself, “This is healing,” I began to focus on, and appreciate, how much healing I had already done, as this healing process was still going to occur whether I checked in on it or not.
There will always be room for reflection, this is not meant to deny the hurt.
Rather, this encourages one to experience it fully, to accept it, and to come to terms with it.
When we avoid it, we trap ourselves in it, for the act of trying to escape from something enhances the illusion that there is something to escape from.
When we deny it, we shove it into our unconscious, our shadow, and it shall subtly reveal itself in other areas of our lives.
When we allow ourselves to rest in the center of our hurt, simply being, without fear, without fighting, and place our attention on the peace that resides within us, as a result of what has already healed, the peacethat was once the same kind of hurt, we are choosing to see the glass as half full, which then attracts more positive experiences into our lives.
At the end of the day, we choose the lens through which we perceive all of our human experiences, we choose what we attract into our lives by choosing what we allow into our lives, and we decide the direction we go in on this journey, which is also the destination in and of itself. ❤
To be in balance is to be at ease. There is no “other“, there is no opposition. When we are in balance there is no chasing one side, nor running from the other. There is no push, there is no pull. There is simply peace with all that is, with all that is not, and with everything in between.
3 Tips for “Middle Living”
Here are some reminders that help myself to be centered and balanced in life, with the aims that it may help you as well.
1. BE WARY OF “EXTREMES”
Perceiving the world through a filter of extremes is a major limitation. The truth is that this reality is a spectrum. Our minds often like to fit things into categories. We tend to label things as “this” or “that” from a dichotomous point of view.
(It also helps to avoid talking in extremes, with the two main words to avoid being “always” and “never“.)
Overall, a mindset of extremes is detrimental. Life is so complicated and that’s honestly the beauty of it. There is no concrete “thing” and there is no concrete “other”.
Balance is embracing fluidity. To realize that there never wasone or the other, but both. One and the other. Which encompasses it all. One, which is also both simultaneously.
Therefore, by being in the “middle“,you encompass both things, one thing, and neither thing, all at the same time. What a concept, right?
2. use YOUR BODY as YOUR COMPASS
There are many metaphors that can be used with the physical body. One that I like to use in this case is thinking of the body as a compass, and a controller for our energy.
The body, mind, and spirit are all intertwined and interconnected. Therefore, they all influence each other. Thinking of it in this way, we can literally use our physical bodies to adjust our balance on an energetic level.
I will now share how I do this. I use these techniques on my own to calibrate my energy on a daily basis:
First, it always helps me to do a quick energy cleanse. What this mainly does is clear any limiting energies that I may be holding onto unconsciously. I do this by:
Closing my eyes.
Visualizing a clear field encasing my body.
(In mind.) Focusing on the intention to cleanse my entire energetic field within that moment.
After that point, so be it, and it is done.
2. The next step I take to balance my energy is to close my eyes, and bring all of my attention on my spine. For me, my spine basically represents my body’s antenna, and it’s a great tool for balancing. To do this:
I set the intention to accumulate and gather all of my energy into my spine, visualizing it as a magnetic force.
I imagine each inhale guiding my energy down my spine to the bottom, and each exhale guiding my energy up my spine to the top.
I visualize this energetic breathing pattern as a continuous and cyclical motion.
When all of my energy is rooted in my spine, I then move on to the next step.
3. Lastly, I move into my heart center by:
Closing my eyes.
Bringing all of my awareness to my heart.
Visualizing a green field of energy surrounding it, feeling both the front of my body and the back of my body.
(In mind.) Setting the intention to be centered in this space, opening myself up to giving and receiving love. So be it. ❤
Once I conclude rooting myself in my heart and along my spine, I like to finish off by visualizing energy flowing out of my heart center and into both of my palms, down my spine all the way to the bottoms of my feet, and up my spine meeting the crown of my head.
This process leaves my physical and energetic bodies balanced, aligned, and rejuvenated.
3. notice where your boundaries lie
On a closing note, I will finish on the subject of boundaries. The importance of boundaries can often be overlooked. I know it seems contrary to what I touched upon earlier on the topic of reality being a spectrum, although I did also included that there was no “one” and no “other“, having it therefore be “both“.
Using discernment can help us to determine whether boundaries serve us or limit us by being there. Boundaries can change, and sometimes they’re nonexistent when they should be present. We all create our own boundaries, and we all have them.
Sometimes we’re confused about where they lie because they were never fully established, and sometimes we let them rule our lives by seeing them as a barrier that will always be there. By having boundaries that are well-maintained and in between both of these, we find balance in setting clear boundaries of our own and respecting the boundaries of others.
A life in the middle is a never-ending dance. One of a constant flow and motion, twists and turns, rights and wrongs, and everything in between. So have fun, release rigidity, embrace your play, and be free in this wild complexity of what we call the universe. ❤
Intention is at the core of what fuels everything.
It is important to realize that not all of our intentions are conscious. There are also unconscious intentions: When we do things without realizing why we do them.
Sometimes, we have intentions that are different from the intentions that we think, and make ourselves believe, we have. This is when we say and believe that we are doing things for one reason, while we unconsciously do them for another.
Regardless of whether it is conscious or unconscious, intention is powerful, and awareness is key in understanding why we do the things we do.
Uncovering The Source
To uncover the source of our actions, we must first become aware of the actions themselves.
When we catch ourselves doing something that we don’t know why we do, first, it is important to notice everything that we can about this action.
How does this action make me feel?
Am I completely present for this action?
Is this something that I feel obligated to do?
Does this action serve me in any way?
Why am I doing this?
The more conscious and open we are towards this action, the more we will be able to decode it. The more we will reveal about ourselves, to ourselves, and the closer we will become to understanding who we really are.
(Note: This is also a form of shadow work.)
It is ultimately our choice whether we put in the work to comprehend these underlying intentions that we all hold, and once we do so, we can make the conscious decision to choose a path of intent that serves us. This is what it means to live consciously.
Does It Serve You?
Now, the BIG question: Does this action serve youbased on the intention that fuels it?
This goes back to how the action makes you feel. Replenished? Drained? Fulfilled? Regretful? Do you do it out of love and compassion? Spite and envy? Does it bring you joy and excitement? Lack and dissatisfaction? Whatever it may be, the true answer lies in how it makes you feel.
From this point, my simple rule of thumb moving forward is: “If it does serve me,then keep it. If it does not serve me,then get rid of it. For if it does not serve me, and I still keep it, then I am only betraying myself.“
I understand, first hand, how difficult of a process letting go can be, especially if it is something that we have become comfortable with. Regardless though, the first step in letting go of actions that do not serve us is by setting the intention to do so.
Setting New Intentions
Genuine, new intentions.
In other words: If we, on some level, do not want the intention to be set, then it will not be set. It requires mental clarity and focus, a conscious understanding of “why” the intention is being set in the first place, and the will for the set intention to be carried out.
In addition: When we make the decision to set a new intention, this intention can be for no one other than ourselves. It has to be an intention set by us, for us. Even if we set the intention to “give back to others“, we would have to do so from a place of being open to receive.
(Also, please note: Prioritizing the self is not selfish, for we can never give if our tap is empty.)
In conclusion: The best way to clear intentions that fuel actions that do not serve us, is to set new intentions that fuel actions that do. Intention is powerful, so let us choose to be conscious, and choose positive intent, for ourselves and others.
It was impactful realizing that the moment I was working towards was never going to come, because it would only ever exist outside of this moment, which is all we have.
The process is the end result, and the journey the destination. Thinking about the future and the past takes the importance away from this moment, and places it on something that lives outside of us. I’m not saying to never contemplate moments outside of this one, it’s just crucial to not forget that we are here, not there.
Chasing an Illusion
If we’re caught up chasing a series of outcomes, we lose sight of what’s right in front of us. We fall into the mentality of, “After I get this, I’ll feel better.” which, of course, is short lived once obtained, as there will always be something else to “get” in order to be satisfied.
This sense of satisfaction derived from external circumstances is at the core of this illusion. If you look around you, and choose to become consciously aware of all that you have to genuinely appreciate in this moment, you’ll come to realize that you already are successful and abundant.
Abundance is a mindset, not a circumstance. If we place ourselves in an energy of lack, then we will always see from the perspective of what we do not have, convincing ourselves that our lives are not good enough as they are. When we place ourselves in an energy of gratitude, we are then able to see our true wealth and potential, attracting all that we need as we see all that we have.
Running from Thought
It’s easy to get caught up in our thoughts, especially when they’re fueled by fear and self–doubt. When this happens, one thought usually leads to another, until it becomes an overwhelming story of surviving an illusionary and self-constructed demise, running from a series of past events, and avoiding a potentially painful future.
This story is only scary because we believe it, and therefore, we run from it. We can still learn from lessons in our past, and take action to guide our future, but the second we allow the past and future to take over our presence is when we lose the joy of being “here“, and all that comes with it.
We then end up running fromthoughts about a time that doesn’t exist, a fear that isn’t here, and circumstances that grow the more attention we give it. The truth is that, although we may not realize it, by following these thoughts, we are unintentionally running from presence. We never get this moment again, so why not choose to enjoy it while it’s here?
To realize that this life journey is the end result… Each moment is a new experience when we choose to take it in, and see all that it has to offer. When we live our lives waiting for the next opportunity, the “next” moment, we waste so much of it living in dissatisfaction.
Making mindful choices within each moment is where our true power lies. We are the directors of our own destiny, so let us not choose to be the “victims” of our lives. We are all artists, expressing our freedom and creativity with this life as our canvas.
Similar to the way we listen to a song with the intention of enjoying the full experience, rather than waiting in limbo for the end to come, we should go about life the same. This is true freedom, the freedom that can never be lost.
My name is Jordan Crockenberg, and I started United Being as a blog in June of 2020.
My goal blogging on U.B. was to share what had helped me in my own spiritual journey, knowing that it had the potential help others on theirown. When I started United Being as a blog, I was also in the process of diving deep into a collection of different spiritual, mystical, metaphysical, and philosophical teachings and practices.
At the time, I had experienced a spark that ignited my passion to investigate the vastness and variety of these diverse branches of self-exploration, expanded consciousness, and life and all there is to it. This intense curiosity lead me to a stream powerful realizations that greatly influenced my life to this day, giving rise to beautiful awakenings that I continue to experience as a result of the work I put forth.
Observing how life-changing these moments of insight were for me, I was determined and motivated to share all that I had learned with others, using it for good.
Turning United Being Into a Business
On a mission to do work that resonated with me and my passions, and was able to help and be of service to others in the process, I took the first step of registering United Being as a business.
Transitioning United Being into a business was a big step for me, as it became the first milestone that marked my leap into this entrepreneurial journey. Making this shift did come with a lot of risks, but these were risks that I was willing to take considering the fact that I would be doing work that I loved.
How I Came Across Hypnosis, and Instantly Fell in Love
Even with most of my mentors being certified hypnotists, I never considered the fact of becoming one as a career; That is until one of my mentors brought it up to me one day.
As I was leaving my mentor’s office one day, who happens to be a hypnotist, she turned around and mentioned to me that she could potentially see me doing similar work in the future. Knowing her to be a very sensitive and intuitive individual, her words lead me to consider hypnosis as a potential career path.
During a virtual meeting with two of my other mentors, not too long after the consideration of hypnosis as a potential careerpath, one of my mentors in the meeting brought up an intensive hypnosis certification course that she took and thought would resonate with me. She said that the woman who taught it had her own unique style, was extremely knowledgeable and passionate about anything hypnosis related, and that she was very educated and intrigued by all of the neuroscience behind it. Interested in what this course had to offer, I immediately wrote down the name, and registered soon after.
Taking part in the course, taught by one of my most influential teachers, Melissa Tiers, I was in awe from all that I was learning. Hearing what she had to say, it all made so much sense. Practicing each technique came so naturally to me, and the work felt more like play. As I was taking notes throughout the course, I genuinely couldn’t stop smiling, because I was so excited to learn about this fascinating branch of mind work that I didn’t even know existed, and it was fun! Therefore, going through the experience of comprehensively learning about hypnosis, learning from someone who knew what they were talking about, I knew that this was the work I had been looking for.
I would say that focused appreciation is truly at the core of any manifestation practice. If we don’t know how to appreciate what we already have, then how will we be able to appreciate all that we attract?
Creating the Mental Shift
This shift in perspective starts by setting an intention. This is to make a switch from focusing on what you are missing in life,to focusing on all that you already have. Once you set the intention to consciously make this shift in perspective, then all you have to do is follow through with your own awareness (consistency is key!).
Give it Your Attention
To be quite frank, your guides and higher-self can most definitely call bullshit if you are being inauthentic with your appreciation. This is where the focused aspect of focused appreciation comes in.
When you are bringing your attention to all that you have to appreciate in life, give it your full attention! This also means genuinely focusing on “why” you appreciate it, as well as knowing the intent that you have for appreciating it in the first place.
Get Ready for Change!
Not only does focused appreciation welcome in more things to appreciate, it also feels good! The more consistent one is with this shift in perspective, the more they will find their external world shifting with them.
And I say to you whom may hold doubt that it would work: Does it hurt to try?
How the mantra, “I AM THAT ALREADY,” created a positive shift within my life.
JOURNAL ENTRY 11/30/20:
"For today, I let myself know that 'I AM THAT ALREADY.'
In other words, I don't need to 'get' anywhere, I'm already there.
Whatever I need/want I can attract.
Whatever does not honor me or bring me joy, I can let go of.
I am already successful, at peace, complete, enough.
The only way I can lose this peace is by believing I don't have it,
by believing it is lost.
I AM that peace, and I lose it when I look outside of myself for answers, validation, satisfaction.
So... Whatever I often try so hard to be, I am that already.
I am, that I am."
“Love, You Are Enough, As You Are.”
This is truly at the core of the mantra “I am that already.“
One cause of suffering is the belief that we are not good enough as we are. The belief that we need to obtain, achieve, or satisfy something outside of ourselves in order to prove that who we are is in fact enough.
The difficult part about this though, is that no matter how hard we work towards the things that we think are required in order to make us complete, it will never be enough, because we would have been looking in all of the wrong places (we do not even have to look in the first place).
You do not have to prove yourself to anyone… So whatever point you feel as though you need to get to in order to be enough, whatever you spend so much time desiring and aspiring to “be”, just know that you are that already.
The more you know this statement to be true, that you are already enough, the easier it will become to attract and manifest the things and experiences that you truly desire.
The energies of lack and love, of dissatisfaction and appreciation, vibrate on completely different frequencies; Therefore, they will attract completely different things.
“There’s No Need To Chase, You Are Already There.”
This goes hand in hand with knowing that we are already complete and enough as we are.
We are already where we need to be. Everything that we need or desire, we have the power to attract. We don’t need to “get” anywhere outside of ourselves to be where we want to be, it truly all happens within our being.
Whether it be slaving away at work to try and live up to a certain standard, or sticking with a strict routine in order to maintain a certain image, more often times than not: We are unconsciously doing it in the attempts to manage the perceptions of others, rather than doing it because we genuinely love and care for ourselves.
All it takes is a shift in our way of thinking, a shift to being more loving and compassionate towards ourselves. So the next time you meditate, exercise, go to work, or even something as simple as washing your face, think about why you do it.
“Allow You To Be The Source Of Your Own Peace.”
Once we realize that we are the source of our peace, we also realize that this peace can then never be lost. This can be one of the hardest concepts to accept as we live in a world filled with so many ways to escape and distract ourselves.
You can be your own friend, your own lover, your own motivation.
One of the most liberating things for me was truly realizing my worth. Stepping into confidence and letting go of all the internal self-doubt I was grasping onto. The doubt that I thought I needed in order to improve. Little did I know, the only way I could improve was by letting go of this doubt, this judgement, entirely.
So the same thing I say to myself, I now say to you: No need to worry about achieving, chasing, or living up to something “greater.” Love, you are that already, and that is more than enough.
YOU are what keeps United Being going, so thank you for your support! All my love, and I continue to wish you all the best on your journey. Namaste.
Many of the negative emotions that we experience come as a result of reacting. Even if there is nothing external to react to, we may be stuck in patterns of reacting to our own mind activity, reacting to our own thoughts.
“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.”
– Eckhart Tolle
It is so easy to fall into cycles of judgement towards our own mind activity, especially when thoughts arise that don’t align with our highest desires or expectations, and once we are stuck in these cycles it is often difficult to see any way out through the shrouds of illusion. But, it is important to highlight the key word here, illusion.
(Although this is in regards to our internal, this goes for external circumstances as well.)
If we attempt to fight or judge an illusion, the illusion will only grow, for we are then feeding it our energy and attention, we are then reacting to it. We are the masters of our own minds, not the other way around. The only power our minds have over us is the power that we give it.
No matter what though, love and compassion never cease to overcome all forms of negativity. It may sound cliché, but it is true nonetheless.Often the simplest of truths are the ones that are closest to it. My advice, from my own personal experiences is: Always choose love, and there will be no regret.
“Sometimes questions are more important than answers.”
– Nancy Willard
I’m sure that many of you have heard the saying, “sometimes the questions are more important than the answers,” as have I; Before I realized the extent to how true and impactful this message actually was.
For example: Whenever I feel feelings such as fear or anxiety arising within me, I simply ask myself the question, “What am I so afraid of?“Whenever I ask myself this question, all feelings of fear and anxiety dissipate within me.
Another example is when I catch myself having a difficult time being genuine or authentic with my words, or simply not sure which direction I want to go in. Whenever I feel this way, I pose to myself the question, “What are my true intentions?” Whenever I ask myself this question, a sense of clarity comes over me, and I am able to honestly work towards and communicate my goals and expectations.
These are just a couple of examples that I use often within my own life, but the power of questions don’t just apply when asking questions to myself, but sending a question out to the universe as well. I have found to be true that whenever I send a question out into the universe, even if the answer may not be direct, I always receive an answer in some form. Although from my own experience, I would say that the simplest and most effective way to use the power of questions to benefit one’s life is by posing them to themselves.
One does not have to verbalize the question that they are posing to themselves out loud in order for it to have a positive impact, asking the question in the form of internal thought is just as effective, if not more.
The possibilities for the questions that can be posed are endless, whether it be from something as vague as “What do I want?” to something as specific as “What am I feeling?“. At the end of the day, pose whatever question calls to you! We are all on our own individual journeys and thus are looking for our own individual answers that relate to our own individual experiences, so we will all have very different questions to ask, and that is the beauty of it.
The truth about self-discipline is that one simply has to do it. There is no thinking when it comes to making decisions that honors oneself, they either make it or they don’t.
There are many spiritual and metaphysical practices as well that require self-discipline like: yoga, meditation, journaling, educating oneself, and so much more. (although self-discipline can be practiced throughout anyone’s everyday life)
The more one practices making decisions that are aligned with their highest intentions, the easier it will then become to make these decisions. When one remains consistent with their word, then these decisions are no longer a struggle to make; they then become automatic, ingrained as a pattern within our subconscious.
For me in the beginning, I can admit that I had to force myself to become accustomed to such practices of self-discipline. Although looking back now, I am grateful for the ways in which I pushed myself to reach my highest potential.
Below, I list some of the healthy ways in which I was able to establish self-discipline in order to better myself.I hope it helps.
Getting to Know My Patterns
We all have patterns that run through our minds on a daily basis. These are the same patterns that influence our behavior, as well as the decisions we make throughout each day.
These patterns can be something from eating a sugary snack with a cup of coffee every morning, to smoking a cigarette whenever stress hits, to procrastinating every time one has to do work that disinterests them.
Yes, eventually the intention may be to reprogram these patterns to something that serves us, but nonetheless, the first step is simply becoming aware that these patterns even exist. Once we are aware, we can then take the steps to stopping these patterns through self-discipline.
Stop Playing the Victim Card
One of the most difficult shifts to make, yet also one of the most impactful, was realizing that it was time for me to stop playing the role of the victim and to take accountability for my actions.
As I became more and more aware of how much I unconsciously played the victim card, I also realized how much power I gave away in the process of doing this. I wanted to rise up to my true power, yet I was simultaneously contradicting myself by claiming to be a victim.
To make this shift, I first had to realize that I could not pick and choose when I created and when I did not. I had to make the connection that I was in control of the experiences that I brought into my life. If I wanted to accept the good, then I also had to take accountability for my mistakes.
This aspect of adding self-discipline to one’s life is so important, for it involves honoring one’s own words and intentions. To be consistent with your word is to keep the promises that you make to yourself.
It is so easy (and also very common, it happens to the best of us!) to begin a practice or to set an intention for ourselves in order to establish a set routine, just to have it discontinue as time goes on.
Of course it is never intentional to discontinue said routines, but we often tend to forget soon after, or sometimes manage to find an excuse in order to make ourselves feel better about discontinuing.
The truth of the matter is that being consistent simply requires dedication, determination, and yes, self-discipline. But the good news is that one does not have to rely on anything external in order to implement whatever routine it is they would like to establish, because no one has the power to push and motivate you more than yourself.
The initiative I took that helped me the most when it came to being consistent, in addition to simply taking action in the present moment and doing what it was that I wanted to achieve, was dropping all excuses.
I then made the connection that if I was going to maintain self-discipline, it would be for me and my own good; To love and honor myself through genuine and consistent actions (and although I am speaking from my own personal experiences, this can go for anyone).
Making the Right Decisions
Lastly, it cannot be broken down into a simpler form: Make the right decisions.
As I stated above, I realized that making excuses for myself was simply a waste of time. If I wanted to make the right decisions, I came to the conclusion that all I had to do was make them.
This may sound simple, but that is only because it is. I would spend so much time thinking about whether I wanted to make a decision or not, that I would end up making no decision at all; Or I would simply allow my impulsivity to take control and make the decision that I was used to (which was often not the one that served me).
I then reached a point where I was tired of my own excuses, and was hungry for change.
No matter what though, through it all, one must not forget to love themselves unconditionally through the process, and to remain patient and forgiving with oneself as they continue to practice and learn.
So I encourage you all to be the best yous that you can be, because we all deserve to be our best authentic selves. All my love, I hope this helps. Namaste.