“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” – Carl Jung
To observe thoughts without judgement or criticism, only with the presence of love and compassion, is to become aware of the truth that thoughts have no power over the way we feel, unless we allow them to have that power through reaction and ego-identification.
Of course no one would consciously want to give their thoughts the power to cause them suffering, that is why it is unconscious behavior. When one brings their awareness to the fact that thoughts do not have the power to cause them suffering unless they react to them, they then become conscious of it, and it is then no longer an unconscious pattern.
Some get as far as becoming aware of the thoughts that arise, but then lose this awareness by falling into unconscious reactivity; such as convincing themselves of “I should not be thinking this, I am wrong for thinking this” or truly believing that the thought has something to do with who they are (ego-identification), thus inducing emotions such as sadness, anger, regret, or fear.
The thoughts that we tend to react to the most are usually linked to a negative false belief system that we have recurrently convinced ourselves to be true (even if it is far from what is true), which then becomes ingrained within our mental structure. This false belief then influences unconscious cyclical patterns of thinking that we assume we have no control over, but we do.
When we begin to sit with these thoughts and look into why they arise, instead of fighting against, resisting, and trying to avoid them, we can then bring our awareness to the root cause of why these thoughts make us feel the way they do, and make the shift from unconsciousness to consciousness.
When one begins to practice unconditionally loving them self, they are also nurturing a positive relationship between their mind, their body, and their being.
Unconditional love is not something that can be obtained, or a goal that is to be reached. Unconditional love is something that we as human-beings are constantly learning how to practice and cultivate within our own lives.
So many of us often create limitations for ourselves by reinforcing self-constructed negative belief-systems, like patterns of self-doubt and self-judgement. In my personal experience, it feels much better to work towards letting go of such a mentality, and to give yourself a break.
One thing I have learned is the importance of making myself aware of the fact that it is okay to make mistakes, as long as I am able to perceive these mistakes as a lesson to learn from instead of a grievance with the power to hold me back from growing.
Instead of holding such high exceptions for ourselves, as if we’re not human-beings with imperfections, we should work towards being more compassionate and understanding towards ourselves, as we can then more genuinely express compassion and understanding towards others.
It is not selfish to prioritize yourself; if anything, once one practices loving them self unconditionally, they can then radiate that love to others, and share it with whomever they decide to share it with.
You are already complete as you are, you don’t need any external validation to determine your self-worth, and that is truth. ♥
Patience, forgiveness, nourishment, making peace with being alone, a nice warm bath; self-love takes many forms, but at the end of the day, it simply comes down to what works best for one personally, based on their own personal life-experiences.
Trust in whatever feels right for you, and everything else will begin to fall into place.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
It is our choice whether we interpret our personal experiences to be positive or negative. In other words, we all have the power to choose to reflect a state of higher awareness, or to remain rooted in patterns of egoistic perception.
One thing I came to realize is that when the ego is in control, it will always manage to find another problem, another thing to complain about, another thing to oppose. Even if there is no problem present, the ego will find a way to create one just so it can continue to survive.
One way I learned how reflect a state of inner peace and higher awareness, instead of allowing myself to fall into negative ways of thinking and reactivity, is to live in a constant state of gratitude.
If I am resting in a hot room, there are two ways in which I can perceive the situation:
- “I can’t take this heat, this is so unpleasant. If I just had another fan to cool me off I would feel much better.” And so on…
- “I’m grateful that I am inside with some air flowing. If I were stuck outside, I would be much hotter than I am now. Thank you.”
This is just one small example, but this applies to all the experiences we perceive and encounter throughout each of our journeys. As one continues to practice and become aware of the ways in which they perceive interactions and situations, the ego’s tendencies to seek out negativity will diminish (as the ego itself will begin to diminish due to the presence of awareness), and all that is positive will start to become apparent.
Anyone has the ability to become the observer of thought instead of identifying with thought.
When one is able to see thoughts for what they are, a programmed belief system existing only within one’s own mind, they are then over time able to reprogram these thought patterns in order to initiate a positive shift within themselves. If one does not become aware of their negative thought patterns, then these same thoughts continue on as a cycle of ego-based suffering.
Real positive change for oneself always begins on an internal level; but one can only make the decision to change for themselves, not anyone else. If one does not want to create change for themselves, or is not truly open to change, then they can never achieve this positive change until they make the choice (on their own) to create that internal switch.
Our egos love to convince ourselves that making such an internal switch is an impossible feat, when in reality that is not the case at all. Yes, it may take time to understand your negative patterns and to form new positive ones, and I can personally tell you now it’s not always easy to dedicate oneself to such an internal change, but this is something that any human being can achieve; if they are willing to place enough importance on it.
So if you are contemplating a change within yourself, allow me to ask you this one question, the question that was at the root of all of the positive change I initiated within myself:
Do you think you have suffered enough?
(With all my love, this post was inspired by Eckhart Tolle)
What we place in our imagination is more than just an empty thought, it becomes our reality.
When one assumes the feeling of a wish fulfilled, they are imagining the feeling of how it would feel if they already had the things that they desire. One can do this simply by asking themselves the question, “how would I feel if I already had it?”
Once one has a clear visualization of what they are striving for, they can then bring all of their attention towards envisioning that for themselves; focusing only on their highest expectations instead of the “how” it will happen, thus allowing the process of manifestation to unfold on its own.
And of course as I like to remind myself, infinite patience produces immediate results.
(This post was inspired by Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Wishes Fulfilled)
The ongoing cycle of suffering and violence can never be broken with more suffering and violence.
It is no surprise that violence brings nothing but suffering into this world; whether it be through war and abuse of power, or violence within our own homes. My mom always used to tell me, “hurt people hurt people,” a line which has stuck with me to this day.
When someone hurts us, our immediate reaction is usually to hurt the other person back in defense (although really one is just defending a mental construct that they identify with within their own mind, but that’s besides the point). This relates closely to the principle of the Law of Retaliation, or “an eye for an eye.” But like Mahatma Gandhi said, “an eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”
Now this is not to say that we should take violence from others, but rather learn how to become nonreactive towards it. When we come from a place of non-reactivity, from a place of inner peace, we then hold the power to break the cycle of violence and suffering instead of contributing to it. We then become the impact for positive change just by living in that state of mind.
If we all came from a place of peace and love, to promote progress instead of the “us” versus “them” mentality, we could achieve great things in this world, beautiful things. If we focused on building and bringing each other up instead of attacking and pulling each other down, so much unnecessary suffering could be avoided, and there would be no limit to the things that we could create in this world, as well as the experiences we could create in our own lives.
Guide your attention towards being within the present moment, be content with what is.
For me personally, nothing is more important than being content within the present moment. Once one learns how to be satisfied with what is, or in other words, once one learns how to simply be, then awareness and inner peace have room to move in.
It may sound simple, but bringing all of your attention to the present moment is not always an easy task.
Like anything that can be mastered, it takes practice. Our mind consists of many thought and reactive patterns that are constantly playing through our heads on a daily basis. Sometimes we become so used to these thoughts and ways of reacting that we don’t even realize they’re there playing in the background.
We often forget that these thoughts are just thoughts, not who we are. When we take on thoughts as our identity instead of a passing production of our minds, we’re allowing our egos run the show and therefore slip into a negative cycle of judgement towards a part of ourselves that doesn’t even really exist (except as a mental construct within our own head), which often leads to more unnecessary suffering.
When one becomes conscious of the present moment, they simultaneously become aware. If you practice meditation, one way you could identify this awareness as a reference is as “the space between,” that calm and peaceful sensation that arises between each passing thought.
To forgive and let go of the past, to cease placing so much importance on the future, to be here now at all times, to be content and satisfied with all that is, there are many different paths to presence, but the goal is all the same.
This post was inspired by Eckhart Tolle, one of my greatest influences.
I will make sure the reality I create is the one I desire.
This mantra strongly resonates with me to this day. Whenever I remind myself that my experiences in this collective reality are correlated with my thoughts, intentions, and overall outlook on life, awareness rises, and I am able to direct my attention towards the things that I love and desire.
Realigning myself with all that is positive, all that is love, allows any fear to subside and for inner peace to move in. With inner peace also comes focus and clarity. When the mind ceases to produce fear based thoughts, and when one comes from a place of good intention, one’s external experiences will also reflect this state of inner peace.
Your energy flows where your attention goes.
“I believe this is the most powerful idea for each of us: realizing that we’re here to discover and honor our own individual path. It doesn’t matter whether we renounce the material world and meditate on a mountaintop for 20 years or create a billion-dollar multinational company that employs thousands of people, giving them each a livelihood. We can attend a temple or church, sit on the beach, drink a margarita, take in a glorious sunset with a loved one, or walk through the park enjoying an ice cream. Ultimately, whichever path we choose is the right one for us, and none of these options are any more or less spiritual than the others.” – Anita Moorjani, Dying to Be Me
Anita Moorjani has always been a huge inspiration for me. After four long years of struggling with cancer that had spread throughout her entire lymphatic system, Moorjani had a near death experience on February 2nd, 2006. Five weeks after having this experience, she was released from the hospital completely cancer-free. To this day, she continues to spread the message of love, positivity, and the connection to who-we-really-are.