“It’s a part of the healing process…” I told myself.
With all the hurt I felt, my automatic response was to tell myself, “It will heal, it’s just a process.”
On this path, there was always something else to heal.
Which is not entirely false, although through this process, I found most of my energy being drawn towards the hurt rather than the healing itself.
“Healing” then became the mask that was worn by the “hurt“.
“This is healing.” became an excuse to focus on the hurt, which was painful, yet comforting in it’s familiarity.
“Yes this will heal, and look at what already has.“
While I was sitting in meditation one day, this dropped on my head.
“I am healing… I am healing… I am healing…”
“…wait… look at how much healing I have already done…”
An immediate shift in perspective.
Yes, I am healing, and I am also healed.
“I acknowledge this process, and I appreciate where I am now.“
Acknowledging this process, and allowing it to run it’s course, does not require constantly checking in on it.
It is the constant checking in on it that keeps it active. (The Quantum Zeno effect.)
This happens naturally, on it’s own time.
Rather than focusing on what was being healed, and telling myself, “This is healing,” I began to focus on, and appreciate, how much healing I had already done, as this healing process was still going to occur whether I checked in on it or not.
There will always be room for reflection, this is not meant to deny the hurt.
Rather, this encourages one to experience it fully, to accept it, and to come to terms with it.
When we avoid it, we trap ourselves in it, for the act of trying to escape from something enhances the illusion that there is something to escape from.
When we deny it, we shove it into our unconscious, our shadow, and it shall subtly reveal itself in other areas of our lives.
When we allow ourselves to rest in the center of our hurt, simply being, without fear, without fighting, and place our attention on the peace that resides within us, as a result of what has already healed, the peace that was once the same kind of hurt, we are choosing to see the glass as half full, which then attracts more positive experiences into our lives.
At the end of the day, we choose the lens through which we perceive all of our human experiences, we choose what we attract into our lives by choosing what we allow into our lives, and we decide the direction we go in on this journey, which is also the destination in and of itself. ❤